1.14 How Daddy was always late
A bedtime story from 'When Daddy was a little boy' by Alexander Raskin
A story from a dad’s childhood, narrated to his daughter, written in 1961. Read the introduction below.
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HOW DADDY WAS ALWAYS LATE
When Daddy was little, he went to school just like all other children.
All the other children came to school before the bell rang. But little Daddy was always late. Sometimes he even managed to be late for the second lesson. This really surprised the teacher. She said they had never had such a pupil before. The school principal said there was probably no other boy like him in any other school, either.
"He is always late!" the principal said. "His parents say they can't do anything. I've spoken with them twice already."
True enough, Daddy's parents couldn't do a thing about it. Every evening the same old story would repeat itself.
"Have you done your homework?" Grandma would ask.
"Wait a sec," little Daddy would answer.
"Stop that reading and start your homework immediately!" Grandpa would say.
"Just one more page," little Daddy would say.
Little Daddy would finish the page and start a new one. He just couldn't put down an interesting book to start doing his dull lessons.
"Put that book down!"
"Wait a sec."
"Put that book down!"
"Wait a sec."
Finally, Grandpa and Grandma would lose their patience. They would snatch little Daddy's book from him.
"You'll end up a lazy good-for-nothing," they threatened.
Then little Daddy would feel very offended. He would begin to weep and wail and demand his book. He said that he wouldn't start his homework until they gave it back to him.
And so the evening would slip away. When little Daddy finally sat down to do his homework, he'd fall asleep. His parents would wake him up. Then he'd fall asleep again. But they'd wake him up again and again. And so he did his homework in a daze. By the time he was through it would really be late. Grandpa and Grandma would be exhausted.
In the morning it was a different story:
"Get up!" Grandma would say.
"Wait a sec," little Daddy would mumble.
"Get up!" Grandpa would shout.
"Wait a sec."
"You're late!"
Everyone knows how hard it is to get up when you went to bed late the night before. You have all your sweetest dreams in the morning. Especially if you have to go to school.
Time marched steadily on while little Daddy stretched and yawned, pulled his clothes on sleepily, washed, dozed through his breakfast and finally managed to get his books together. Then he was out of the house and running to school, looking with horror at each clock he saw on the way.
When little Daddy finally burst breathlessly into the classroom, the children would howl with laughter. Even the teacher laughed.
"Ah, here's our sleepy-head!" she would say.
They drew a picture of little Daddy in the school newspaper that was hung on the wall. He was shown sound asleep in his bed, while his father and mother were pouring water over him from two big pails. A huge alarm clock was pulling little Daddy by one ear and a boy was blowing a trumpet into his other ear. The caption under the picture read: "Lullaby." It made little Daddy angry, but still he was always late.
Since little Daddy did his homework at the last minute, he never did it well. Since he was late for school, he often missed the teacher's explanation of a new subject. This made it harder for him to understand what the rest of the class was doing. Besides, he was forever rushing, being late, running and getting excited. All this was very bad for him. But still, he was always late.
I would love to tell you how little Daddy's parents finally found a way to make him stop being late.
I would love to tell you how teachers and the other children fun of Daddy until he finally came to school one day earlier than anyone else and was never late again.
But I don't want to tell a lie.
Little Daddy was always late all his life. He was late for school, he was late for college, he was late for work. People always made fun of him. Little Daddy was punished, he was scolded and shamed. He lost out on many things in life because of this awful habit. He was often so late to parties that people never invited him again. He was late for business appointments and would ruin the whole affair.
Many were the times that he welcomed in the New Year alone on a deserted street, late again for the New Year's party he was rushing to. Many people waited for him in vain.
His friends love to tell funny stories about him being late. Even now Daddy doesn't know how to walk slowly. He's always in a hurry, because he's used to being late. At night he even dreams he's late again. He shudders and moans in his sleep.
Sometimes he dreams that he's a little boy again and he's running to school. But when he looks up at the clock in his dream it's still early! Everyone congratulates him. The principal hands him a bouquet of flowers. They hang his picture in the school auditorium. A band plays for him. But he always wakes up at this point, and thinks that if he were little again, he'd never be late for school any more.
THE END
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