1.21 How Daddy played ping-pong
A bedtime story from 'When Daddy was a little boy' by Alexander Raskin
A story from a dad’s childhood, narrated to his daughter, written in 1961. Read the introduction below.
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HOW DADDY PLAYED PING-PONG
When Daddy was little, a new game was invented. It was called ping-pong.
Lots of children like to play ping-pong now. But then everyone in every school, in every class, in every yard played ping-pong. They played on tables and benches, on grand pianos and on the floor. They played from morning till night. Some even played at night. And many forgot that anything else existed except ping-pong.
There were ping-pong matches in little Daddy's school every single day. Each class played against another. Then the winners of each class played to determine the school champion. Then the school champions played and the winner was the champion of the district. Then there was a city tournament. Then Moscow and Leningrad played each other.
Little Daddy was amazed by all this. He just couldn't understand why it was so interesting to bounce a little white ball back and forth with little paddles.
"They're not paddles, they're racquets," the children would say.
"So what? I still don't understand it."
"Why don't you try?"
"It's no fun."
"It will be."
"No, it won't!"
"Why don't you try?"
"I don't want to."
This conversation was repeated many times. And, naturally, one bright day little Daddy got a ping-pong racquet and took his place at one side of the table.
That was the end of him.
I said "one bright day", but little Daddy's parents always considered it to be one of the darkest days in their lives. And all because little Daddy became fascinated by ping-pong. At first, he couldn't manage to hit the ball with his racquet. Then, he learned to hit the ball, but it wouldn't bounce on the table. Finally, when little Daddy managed to hit the ball and it bounced across the table, he really took an interest in the game.
He discovered that there were different ways of hitting the ball: you could chop it or send it into a spin. When the ball was hit in such a way, it would fly off to one of the corners. A good player would make the ball bounce in the most inconvenient part of his opponent's side of the table.
Daddy still thinks that ping-pong is a wonderful game. But then little Daddy thought that ping-pong was the most fascinating game in the whole world. He gave up reading, he stopped doing his homework. The only reason he went to school was to play his favourite game. He began to play better and better but his marks became worse and worse.
The teacher took him aside and talked to him several times. She explained that there was a limit to everything. She even reminded him of the saying: "All in good time."
Little Daddy didn't argue. What was the use of arguing? How could he make her understand that as far as he was concerned, ping-pong was the work of his life, while everything else was play. He played more than any of his other friends. He could already beat many of them.
On the day he won a game from the school's third best player, the teacher said: "I would like to speak to your parents. Things cannot continue as they are now."
She wrote a letter to Grandpa and Grandma. They never received it. Little Daddy pulled it out of the mail-box himself, read it, and tore it up. It was so awful that he tore it into tiny bits.
Then the teacher sent his parents another letter. It was still worse than the first one. So little Daddy tore it into still tinier bits.
I am ashamed to speak about it, but that's exactly how it was. The teacher was very surprised that Grandpa and Grandma had not come to school to see her. Just as she was about to write them a third letter, little Daddy beat the school champion. After that he decided there was nothing left for him to do in school. And so he stopped going to school altogether.
Early in the morning he would make believe he was going to school. But there were no notebooks or textbooks in his school bag. Instead, there were two ping-pong racquets, a net and three balls. And a sandwich, which little Daddy had instead of lunch. All day long he played ping-pong.
Now little Daddy had many new friends, all of whom were also crazy about ping-pong. He knew all the Moscow champions by sight. The famous Falkevich brothers greeted him as an equal. He was now a member of the Junior Team. He had already lost his first real game. He...
But at this point his teacher, having received no answer to her letters and missing little Daddy at school, went to see him. However, little Daddy was not at home. Grandma and Grandpa were, though. When they discovered that their son had not been to school for quite a while and was spending his days slamming around a little white ball they were thunderstruck. They decided that little Daddy had lost his senses.
After all, they had never played ping-pong. They hid his racquets and balls and took little Daddy to a doctor. Not to a plain, ordinary doctor, but to a Doctor who had spent his life treating the insane. However, he had never played ping-pong. He simply could not understand why little Daddy had cut school because of it.
But little Daddy could not understand why the Doctor was asking him such strange questions as: "Do the boys hit you at school?"
"Do you sleep well?"
"Do you have headaches in the morning?"
"Do you have headaches in the evening?"
"Are you afraid of the dark?"
"Have you ever had fits?"
"Have you ever been unconscious?"
And little Daddy answered "no" to all these questions. Then the Doctor continued:
"Do you like your school?"
"Do you like your teacher?"
"Do you have friends at school?"
"Boys?"
"Girls?"
And little Daddy replied "yes" to all these questions.
Then the Doctor said:
"Is there any girl you like better than the rest?"
Little Daddy became angry and said: "Why do you want to know all these things, I cut school because of ping-pong. All your other questions have nothing to do with anything."
"All right," the Doctor said. "Then what do you intend to do now?"
"Play ping-pong," Daddy answered without a moment's hesitation.
"Do you know how all this can end? Have you ever thought of it?"
"Certainly," little Daddy said. "Our team can win the Moscow tournament."
"I'm very serious!" the Doctor shouted.
"So am I," said little Daddy.
Then the Doctor shrugged. He put some drops into a glass of water and said to Daddy: "Here, drink this."
"I don't want to," said little Daddy. "I'm not sick."
"But I am," said the professor and he drank the medicine himself. Then he added in a whisper: "If I talk your parents into letting you play through the season, do you promise that you'll go back to school in the autumn?"
"Yes," said little Daddy.
Then the professor summoned Grandpa and Grandma. He said: "The boy is quite healthy. Let him play. He's missed most of the term, anyway." And he had some more medicine.
And so little Daddy's parents took him home.
Little Daddy's team did not win the tournament, but it did take second place. And Daddy still insists that the year was not wasted. He realised then that ping-pong was not the most important thing in the world. He even began to miss his school. He went back to school with pleasure in the autumn and eventually finished it.
Many years passed. His old racquet is still on top of the cupboard. Grandpa and Grandma still shudder when they see it. But Daddy looks at it fondly.
It was certainly silly to drop out of school because of ping-pong. Everybody laughs when they hear this story. So does Daddy. And yet, ping-pong is a very good game. I'll write about it some day.
When Daddy saw that his daughter was beginning to play he became very frightened. He was very relieved to see that she was not going to drop out of school, though she did become school champion.
Then he finally understood how Grandpa and Grandma had felt and he hid his old racquet in a far corner of the cupboard. But sometimes he takes it out and recalls his ping-pong days.
THE END
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