1.7 How Daddy used to be offended
A bedtime story from 'When Daddy was a little boy' by Alexander Raskin
A story from a dad’s childhood, narrated to his daughter, written in 1961. Read the introduction below.
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HOW DADDY USED TO BE OFFENDED
When Daddy was little he was forever feeling hurt. He was angry with everyone put together and with each person separately. When someone would say, "Why are you picking at your food?" he would feel hurt. And when someone would say, "Why are you stuffing yourself like that?" he would also feel hurt.
He was angry with Grandma, because he wanted to tell her something and she was busy and had no time to listen to him.
He was angry with Grandpa, because Grandpa wanted to tell him something and now he was busy and had no time to listen.
When his parents went visiting or to the theatre, little Daddy would get angry and cry. He wanted his parents to stay at home with him all the time. But when he wanted to go to the circus, little Daddy would cry louder still. He was angry because he had to stay home.
Uncle Vitya, Daddy's baby brother, was very little then. He made Daddy angry because he didn't want to talk to him. Uncle Vitya smiled at him and chewed his big toe. He was so little that all he could say was "Da-da", but Daddy was angry anyway.
If his aunt came to visit, he was angry with her. If his uncle came to visit, he was angry with him. If his aunt and uncle came together, he was angry with both of them. Sometimes he thought his aunt was making fun of him. Sometimes he thought his uncle didn't want to speak to him. He would think up other reasons too.
Little Daddy thought he was the most important person in the whole wide world. If he wanted to say something, everyone else had to be quiet. If he didn't feel like talking, no one else was supposed to talk. If he felt like miaowing, barking, grunting, crowing or mooing, everyone had to drop whatever they were doing and listen to his wonderful noises.
Little Daddy never thought that there were other people, both big and small, who were just as good as he was. If someone argued with him or put him in his place, little Daddy would get angry. It was very disgusting. He would pout, scowl and march off in a huff.
He was forever being angry with someone, or arguing with someone, or feeling offended. From morning till night he had to be consoled and humoured. The moment he opened his eyes in the morning he was angry, because the sun had awakened him, and when he fell asleep at night he would pout in his sleep and still be angry with someone.
It was still worse when little Daddy played with other children. He wanted everyone to play the games he liked. He wanted to play with some children and not with others. Whenever he argued, he always wanted to be right. He could make fun of anyone, but no one was supposed to make fun of him. After a while people got tired of this. They all began laughing at little Daddy.
His parents would say: "Do you want some tea? But don't get angry!"
"Let's go for a walk. But don't get angry!"
"Are you angry yet?"
"Hurry up and get angry, we've no time to waste!"
And little Daddy would get angry.
The boys in the street teased him. They would sing: Cry-baby, cry!
And little Daddy would pout.
"Look, I'll wiggle my finger and he'll get angry even at that!"
One of the boys would wiggle his finger, and Daddy would get angry. Then everyone would laugh. The children were really pleased, because it was so easy to tease Daddy. They nearly teased the life out of him.
Finally, one of the older boys felt sorry for him and said: "Listen, why do you keep getting angry at everything? If you don't pay attention, they won't tease you any more."
Daddy took his advice. He tried not to get angry at every little thing, and the boys stopped teasing him. Still, he was so used to being angry all the time that he didn't really get rid of this bad habit until he got bigger. And not even then. This habit was in his way at school and later at work, and it lost him many friends. People who knew Daddy when he was little still tease him sometimes.
But he's never angry with them now. Hardly at all. In any case much less than before.
THE END
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